Pieces of Me

I rarely say this, but this is one of my favorite pieces in the series. It deals with compartmentalization and fragmentation.

It can be hard to explain what it feels like to have distinct pieces of yourself that you never allow to interact or overlap. On my journey to self, trying to become a full, whole person, I couldn't develop a complete sense of self until I was willing to confront those pieces of me, accept them, and start integrating them into a single experience.

Fragmenting yourself is a byproduct of people pleasing, and it's also part of the shame process. As a shame-based person, I spent so much of my life hiding that certain parts of me were hidden, even from myself. I'd amplify the parts I was proud of and actively try to bury the flaws I didn't want to admit existed.

Living that way took a tremendous amount of energy. Energy to keep the parts separated. Energy to constantly decide who got access to which fragments.

Starting the work to be more integrated, and less fragmented, let me show up to my interactions more authentically and more connected to myself. That cut down so much of the people pleasing, and so much of my own anxiety.